Hump Day Hair

Instead of predicting the winner of the World Series by dissecting pitching match-ups and power bats versus small ball, I’m going to predict the winner of the World Series by hair and hair only. (Because frankly, I’ve got as good a chance of picking the correct winner as those so called “analysts”)

Division Series

Tampa Bay Rays – Team Mohawks

v.

Chicago White Sox – Team Goatees

Verdict: Tampa Bay Rays
While I enjoyed the blonde tinted goatees, only Juan Uribe and Bobby Jenks are rocking this look. The Rays on the other hand, have made it almost a team requirement going all the way up to manager Joe Maddon giving the edge to the Rays.

(Photos: AP)

Los Angeles Angels –Vladimir Guerrero

v.

Boston Red Sox – Dustin Pedroia and Alex Cora

Verdict: Los Angeles Angels
You literally have to piece together a group of Red Sox players to equal the amazingness of Guerrero’s dreads. Granted, it’s not fair that half of the Red Sox team is either partially or completely bald, but they had their best chance of beating the Angels and they traded him away to the Dodgers. Too bad.

(Photos: AP; Getty Images)

Philadelphia Phillies – Cole Hamels

v.

Milwaukee Brewers – Entire team

Verdict: Philadelphia Phillies
Once again, it’s almost not fair. The Brewers apparently went on a team outing to Supercuts, because besides Seth McClung, the team is pretty much sporting the cropped look. Meanwhile, Hamels has some of the best hair in the Majors. He could easily take this team very far…all by himself!

(Photos: AP)


Chicago Cubs – Mike Fontenot

v.

Los Angeles Dodgers – Manny Ramirez

Verdict: Los Angeles Dodgers
Remember like two seconds ago when I was writing about how the Red Sox traded away their best chance of beating the Angels to the Dodgers? Well their loss is the Dodgers gain and thanks to his incredible dreads, the Dodgers will continue the Cubs losing ways. His hair is so awesome that even though it has been trimmed and is often contained by a head band or do-rag, it seems to have only concentrated its power making Manny an even better player. Scary, huh?

(Photos: AP)

League Championship Series

Tampa Bay Rays – Team Mohawks

v.

Los Angeles Angels – Vladimir Guerrero

Verdict: Tampa Bay Rays
I know crazy right. Here’s the thing, team unity will always beat the power of a singular person. Just think about it, everyone, I mean everyone has a bad day. And when that person goes down, it’s his teammates that can pick up the slack. If you’re all by yourself, eventually you’ll falter.

(Photos: AP)

Philadelphia Phillies – Cole Hamels

v.

Los Angeles Dodgers – Manny Ramirez

Verdict: Los Angeles Dodgers
Cole Hamels has incredible hair, but I’m pretty sure that Manny Ramirez’s hair has super powers.

(Photos: Phillies; AP)

World Series

Tampa Bay Rays – Team Mohawks

v.

Los Angeles Dodgers – Manny Ramirez

Verdict: Tampa Bay Rays
Just like with the Angeles, team unity beat out Medusa and his magical mystery hair.

(Photos: AP)