Bagels?

I love my bagels. I really do. Every Saturday morning I hit up Starbucks and then go across the street to get a whole wheat everything with egg and taylor ham. If for whatever reason I miss out on my weekend binge, I spend the entire week craving it and starring at bagel shops saying “I want to go to there” until that magical Saturday when I finally get me a bagel. So I understand the power a bagel can have over someone, but seriously, if you’re going to impersonate one of the biggest Yankees stars, I would use my influence for a little more than a bagel and smear. But alas, I guess I think too big. I would personally use it get some free tickets, or to get out of yet another speeding ticket. Maybe I would get a free hotel room at some ritzy place in Manhattan. But a bagel? No way.

Too bad no one ever told 30 year old Toms River native Ryan Ward to think big. Instead he spent an entire summer scamming free bagels from Belmar Bagel by impersonating Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain. According to an employee he would say “Do you know who I am?” and then point to the sports section. Some would say, the employee should have pointed to the sports section and say “I know who he is, but you I am not sure about.” But instead they gave him a free bagel. And apparently he took his act on the road, posing as Chamberlain at other establishments in Belmar and Spring Lake leading to his swift departure from a few bars in the area. Ward even went so far as to sign autographs and promise women free tickets to games.

For his summer escapades Ward has been charged with impersonation and has a court date scheduled for February 11th.

When questioned about his act, Ward responded by saying "It was something I did for the summer. I had a lot of fun with it." Yeah, well I had a lot of fun at summer camp making rosary beads for the poor people of Venezuela while being treated to the musical stylings of Father Ray, the DJ. But that was when I was 15. 10 years later and I’ve kind of moved on from juvenile things like that. I guess you have not.

Watch out Ryan, because the popo are on your tail!

(source)