I’m starting a new thing this week, it’s called movie reviews…but the catch is, I haven’t actually seen any of these movies, so my reviews come strictly from the movie trailers, and since I don’t have volume on my computer, the review is based on the nuance of the acting…here goes:
Miami Vice ® Staring Jamie Foxx and Colin Farrell
First of all, this movie looks like a lot of things are going to be blown up. Until half way through the trailer I was thinking that they weren’t allowed to shoot this during daylight hours, because Jamie and Colin were way too hung over to work. Then towards the end, daylight came through, although neither star were in these scenes, so the last sentence probably holds true. I believe this movie will be all action and very little substance, but when Colin Farrell’s acting in a movie that’s pretty much what you want! I learned that this film’s director also directed “Collateral,” so since I didn’t see that movie, it doesn’t mean much to me, but to others it may make them think twice about spending $10 to see it. The trailer also reveals that this movie will feature more bedtime stories than Madonna is allowed to tell.
B-
The Ant Bully (PG) featuring the voices of Nicholas Cage, Meyrl “I’ve been in almost every movie that has come out this summer” Streep and Julia Roberts
I’m going to be honest; this movie might be scary for those children who have not graduated past the G level. A frog tries to eat a poor shrunken kid alive. (I also believe I saw this movie when it was in the live action format, it was called “Honey we shrunk the Kids.”) Creepy moment: I really thought that the child that is shrunken by ants was naked and that would have really crossed the line. More so than the “All good teenagers take off their clothes,” of Aladdin fame. But then you find out he is only topless. Seriously, did Michael Jackson make this film? Also I think the kid falls in love an ant, and then the trailer kind of froze on my computer, so I don’t know what is going to happen next…and I sadly want to know!
A-
John Tucker Must Die staring the Gardner from “Desperate Housewives” (Jesse Metcalf), Brittany Snow, Ashanti, and Sophia Bush
Ok, even watching this trailer without the sound on I could tell this one’s going to be a stinker. Apparently Mr. Tucker dates Lindsay from “Gilmore Girls”, Ashanti and Sophia Bush at the same time. Poor Sophia Bush, even in the movies she gets cheated on. She really doesn’t seem like that bad of a girl. Team Sophia…anyway, somehow Brittany Snow gets involved and then John Tucker (assuming that is Jesse Metcalf’s character) is wearing a pair of red lacy underwear which for some unknown and unappreciated reason becomes a thong…ehhh! I’m stopping this review out of protest!
F
Little Miss Sunshine ® starring Greg Kinnear and Steve Carell
The first thing they show is Steve Carell writing on a piece of notebook paper that he ‘Hates everyone” Gee thanks there Steve, comments like that will not win you any friends. Then a little girl, who looks like me circa 1986 minus the Keith Hernandez mustache, gets really excited, why I don’t know, once again, no volume. Anyway, apparently someone who saw this film found it to be “Heartfelt and Hilarious.” So that’s a good sign. Also the family is driving in a yellow VW van, so even if that’s the only shtick, it’s good for a couple of laughs. I have to say that before watching this trailer I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see it, but after reading all of those great reviews flashed across the screen, I’m all for it. This movie gets my must see stamp of approval. A
Braves Update:
The Braves suffered an embarrassing 6-1 loss to the Florida Marlins yesterday afternoon. The lone offensive highlight was Jeff Francoeur’s solo shot in the 7th off of Marlin’s relief pitcher Messenger. It was his 20th homerun tying him with Adam LaRoche for second on the team. Jason Shiel in his second appearance for the Braves managed to give up only 3 runs in 5 innings, an improvement from his last start against the Cardinals where he gave up 9 earned runs. The Braves take on the New York Mets tonight at Turner Field. This is a must win series, if the Braves have any hope of continuing their unparalleled run of divisional titles. Game is at 7:35 on TBS.
Games to .500: 5
Games behind Cincinnati Reds: 5.5
Games behind New York Mets: 12
NASCAR Update:
It’s sad when this is the only news of the day, Kurt Busch married long time girlfriend Eva Bryan yesterday in Virginia. Good luck Eva! This is apparently such big news that it even made people.com as an exclusive. Apparently 250 people attended (where they found these people, I don't know). The theme of the wedding was “glow.” I’m sorry aren’t you supposed to be theme. This is not a bat/bar mitzvah! Let’s see if being a married man will calm him down. I for one, am hoping not. (See Tuesday’s entry for why)
Giants Update:
Eli and Kenny at MSG
For all of you fans (stalkers) wondering where Eli Manning is, he has gotten off the Kenny Chesney bus and landed in Albany, NY at Giants training camp. He's kind of hoping the friendship bracelet he made for Plaxico Burress will show Plaxico his true feelings. He's really sorry about the wild card game against the Panthers. He would love it if you would start talking to him again. Frankly Plaxy, for the good of the Giants, it would be nice if you stopped giving Eli the silent treatment. I'm just saying, your a really good WR and your super tall, which is great because sometimes Eli throws to imaginary people and you can jump and catch them before the ball goes out of bounds, or worse in the hands of the other team. Throw to the people in Blue Jerseys Eli, Blue, your on BIG BLUE! Anyway, here's hoping for Giants continued success in 2006, go Big Blue!
In other news:
Albert Belle may face 90 days in jail for stalking his ex-girlfriend. Thank goodness, because I couldn't stand getting those creepy phone calls late at night!
“ESPN's Harold Reynolds has been fired for alleged sexual harassment after reportedly hugging a female co-worker at an Outback Steakhouse. Reynolds says he was misled by Outback's motto of ‘No rules, just right.’”
-Ten Spot, si.com
Celebrity Tid Bits:
Dierks Bentley's new ablum will be released October 31st. It features his new hot single, "Every Mile a Memory."
Miranda Lambert calls Blake Shelton a "very close friend." Gee, I hope Blake didn't leave his wife to a be a very close friend to Miranda.
Random Quote: “I’ve got two words, Champagne.” –Pamela Anderson on how she is dealing with her nerves before marrying Bob “Kid Rock” Ritchie this weekend.
In Yesterday's post I had a where are they now question about Andrew Ridgely (I believe I referred to him as Andrew “something”) from Wham. He now lives in Cornwall, England with his partner Keren Woodward (of the female pop group Bananarama). (Thanks Howard.)
I’m heading down the shore this weekend and will be unable to post until Tuesday.
It’s been fun blogging with you,
Kate
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